Category: Kids

June 11, 2021 Happiness, Inspiration, Kids, Parenting, Play Post a Comment

Summer Vacation: Are You “Packed” and Ready?

Are you ready for summer? Ready or not, summer is upon us. Schools are out or wrapping up. For us moms and kids, that means, SCHEDULE CHANGE! 

So, as I prepare to cruise into summer, I thought I’d share a little behind the scenes taste of what it looks like to design your life…

Summer Vacation

Just like you’d pack for a vacation, you can “pack” for your upcoming summer. Summer is technically a vacation, well… a vacation from school if you have kids. What does the start of summer mean to you? My enneagram 7 brain goes straight to fun; I immediately think of taking actual vacations.

But, as I got to thinking about it, I realized that in order to have the fun of vacation, you’ve got to start with preparation.  That made me think of packing. (Eik, packing is my least favorite part.) And if I work backwards, before you can pack, you need to figure out where you are going, how you’ll get there, where you’ll stay, etc. 

So, LOTS OF PLANNING!

Are You “Packed” for Summer?

With summer vacation upon us, are you prepared for whatever changes that means for your family? You’ve probably looked through summer camps and activity options for your kids, or even planned a getaway, but have you really stopped to properly prepare for everything that comes with summer? 

 

I find preparing for summer to be tricky! Especially when it comes to summer camps. I want to have a balance of fun activities, yet I don’t want to be a slave to a busy schedule. I want fun, ease, flow. I also want some time to myself and time for my kids to have their own space and independence. 

As a Life Design coach, I help my clients design a life and pace that lights them up. It does take some time on the front end though to discover what they actually want to do. Then a bit more to choose how to make that come alive in the world. So, I thought it would be fun to dive into summer together, and I’ll give you a little taste of life design, summer style!

Life Design- Summer Style

Ok, first things first- what does summer mean to you?

  • What changes occur for you and your family during the summer school vacation?
  • What do you like to do?
  • What do your kids like to do?

Your Day-to-Day Schedule

  • Do you like to have a full schedule?
  • Do you like to have flexibility?
  • What do you need to take care of now to create the space for a good summer?

Summer Standouts

  • What is something special you can plan as a summer highlight?
  • Have you talked to your kids and partner/spouse to see what lights them up?

Bucket List

  • If you like to create a bucket list, go for it!
  • Look through activity books for inspiration
  • (You can also checkout my Instagram with all my family games!)

Roadblocks 

  • Is there anything that you are worried you won’t be able to accomplish during summer (like getting in good workouts, self-care time, etc.?)
  • If so, how can you plan ahead? 

 

New Season, New Start

New seasons are the BEST time to start something new. Maybe you’ve been wanting to get the kids to read more, clean up after themselves better or something like that. Maybe you’ve been wanting to start a garden, try a new workout or try eating healthier. 

NOW is the BEST time to kick it off! 

Feel free to start small! By starting small you can actually accomplish what you want. You’re also more likely to continue and build onto it as you are actually doing it! It’s a spring-board effect, and it works for you and your kids!

So take some time and think about what you want, what future-you want you and your kids to grow into and let’s make it happen!

One last thing- if you’d like to learn more or it feels overwhelming to take it on by yourself, reach out.

This is just the smallest taste of life design. If you’re intrigued, I offer a free discovery call and would love to hear more about you. [MORE INFO HERE]

PS- WISHING YOU THE MOST FABULOUS, PLAYFUL SUMMER YET!

March 26, 2020 Happiness, Inspiration, Kids, Marriage, Parenting, Personal Growth Post a Comment

Time To Pivot

Wow. If you would have told me a couple weeks ago that the world was about to go into a global lockdown and health pandemic, I never would have believed you. We are all painfully aware of our new world, the new dangers, the new fears, all the stinking newness. We’ve all already read a million articles and seen a million posts on COVID-19, how to make the best of your time, how to workout at home, how to start to cook, how to do any completely random combination of just about anything and everything. We’ve also seen a million awesome memes that thankfully make us burst out laughing.

But the one thing I see as a major context in this unique occurrence is everyone’s joint need to need to pivot. I just got off the phone with my dear friend in Toronto who said, “everything has been touched by this.” All aspects of our lives are being impacted. We are going down new roads that we never expected to face, or really even imagined we’d face as a global collective.

In times of tragedy or natural disaster, people come together. But now we are told to stay 6-feet apart. We repel from each other like two opposite sides of magnets when we get near other people. It’s bizarre. It reminds me of when my Aussie friend came to visit. We went to Vegas (obviously) and were walking down the sidewalk, yet he kept going to the wrong side. (You should’ve seen me TRYING to drive in Sydney, turning at intersections… forget about it, but that’s another story!)

But we are not outside our country; we are not outside our cultural norm. We are outside our HUMAN norm. We are forced apart in hopes that we can all come back healthy and strong together.

Which leads me to the point of this post. We are in an era of unprecedented unity in that EVERYONE is forced to pivot. Whatever you THOUGHT you were going to be doing, you’re not. Or at least not in the way you thought you were. Whatever you THOUGHT was important, you are reminded of the mighty value of your health and the simple pleasure of being alive. Whatever you THOUGHT you needed or wanted or maybe even dreamed of, you are forced to realize and vanquish your control.

But to pivot, you can think about what you DO control, what you DO value the most in your life. You know what you have to get done and what you can let slide. You can decide how much time you will spend on things (outside your necessary responsibilities), on what and when. You can choose time on social media, watching the news, sneaking into closets or garages to cry. You can choose how much time you spend reading or simply PLAYING with your kids. (Which reminds me to remind you to follow my Instagram @chasinghavers each day for a new #wewritethestory2020 game you can play with your kids, how to use it to connect with your community, and for a daily sanity tip.)

Companies can pivot and learn how to be effective and productive as employees work from home. Families with two working parents can pivot to see how they can work together to be a team and support their children in new ways. Kids can pivot to see how they can learn and play outside the traditional classroom setting. Friends can pivot by having online parties like I will be doing this Saturday (in toga by the way!)! Moms can pivot by teaching their children to help them cook, do laundry and do chores. Dads can pivot by modeling for their family how they are adapting to a new change. Entrepreneurs can pivot as they find new ways to serve their clients.

I emailed my son’s amazing TK teacher to ask her what advice she had for my son as being just home and she said the first word she teaches them as school starts is being “flexible.”

Right now, is a complete exercise in being flexible, and being present. Taking life one day at a time, one moment at a time.

Because I feel like life is flying in my face faster than ever before, I have a trillion emails to read, three meals and twenty snacks a day to prepare and clean up, a house to clean, workouts to try to sneak in, games to play, kids to teach and hang with, and on and on…. I took my priorities I had clarified (from my How to Fill Your Life With What’s Important to You post which you can read here…) and turned them into a general outline of what I want to accomplish each day. This way it keeps me intentionally focused on what I know is important to me and not slide down the rabbit hole of the craziness that is spreading all around.

My Personal Guidelines for Each Day:

  • 4 different quality times with my fam
  • 1 hard workout (4-5 days/wk)
  • 1 mild/medium workout (like bike ride with kids, playing in backyard with them, going for a walk, etc.)
  • Cook a healthy dinner for family with extras for lunch the next day
  • Take some creative time for myself
  • 1-2 meditations/prayer/gratitude journal
  • Create & post one fun family game for my #wewritethestory2020 challenge
  • Talk to at least one friend a day and reach out to someone new each day
  • (*NOTE: These are in addition to all my regular day to day responsibilities, work, kids, etc.*)

Also, be flexible with yourself on this. If I miss a hard workout one day, no biggie. It’s just a guideline. But I find having something to center myself around to be super helpful and grounding. I find it reassuring as if I can just do most of that, I can feel good about my day no matter how many ups and downs it has.

So friend, I can’t wait to celebrate MASSIVELY when we have all made it through this.  It’s my hope that when we look back we can each say, wow, we really rose up and did our best. We worked through our fears and emotions; we were leaders to our family. We were courageous in this strange time and we are proud of how we took it day by day and focused on what is most important to us along the way. We used our skills and gifts to make the world around us a better place, no matter how big or small of community we touched, we gave it our all.

Game on! Sending love, patience, and perseverance.

We can do this together.

PS- I took this photo on a run last summer in Michigan when visiting my sweet in-laws. I thought it could make a good pic for my blog in the future. Who knew it would like this… The road may end but we can pivot and blaze our new trail through the grass.

March 14, 2020 Happiness, Inspiration, Kids, Parenting, Personal Growth 1 Comment

Spreading Community & Connection- Not Coronavirus #wewritethestory2020

There’s a lot going on in the world today. Things look totally different today even than they did yesterday. We are being inundated with information on coronavirus, how it spreads, how to distance ourselves, what’s happening here and around the world. And now our kids will be home for at least three weeks. We’re not quite sure what to do, where we can go, will Coronavirus come to our neighborhood? How will it affect our life today, tomorrow, next month, forever?

Stories are swirling. Group text chats are blowing up. My thoughts go wild. But in chaos and troubled times we have an opportunity to come together. Even in social distancing we can reach out and do our part to spread the feeling of love, support and connection.

Enter my new game.

#WeWriteTheStory2020

(Follow me on Instagram for free daily games & sanity hacks @chasinghavers)

When I heard that schools were getting cancelled for 3 weeks I thought of all the parents out there and how overwhelming it is to think of 3 weeks home with the kids. All activities cancelled. All sports cancelled. Parks/beaches closed. Social distancing suggested. I wanted to figure out a way to help so I came up with this idea.

For at least 20 minutes a day, we invite you to sit with your family and find a way to reach out to your community. Draw a picture to mail to grandma. Write a thank you card to volunteers in your community. Send a funny video to your friends near or far. Help send love to people around you as everyone desperately needs it right now.

We challenge you and your family to do 20 minutes a day and send 20 messages a week. Some might be a quick note or text message, others might be a more involved art project like tracing your outstretched arms and literally sending your hugs to your family members. Use your imagination. Get your kids involved. Remember, we write the story and here is our chance to show them the sky is limit when it comes to their ideas. You can share by mail, email, video, Skype, Facetime, you name it!

Let’s teach our kids to come together, to be grateful for what we have, and to send love and support to others. Let’s take time out to sit together, to color, to draw, to paint, to write a story, to put on a play.

Be creative. And let us know what is inspiring you and your family!

Post a picture or message and join us in #WeWriteTheStory2020.

Sending health and love.

PS- I want to thank Ginny from @1000hoursoutside. I love how she created a simple challenge that promotes a healthy activity and being together; it helped me come up with this. I also want to thank Abbey Gibb for prompting me & her peeps to look for ways to be compassionate leaders amidst the collective sinking energy. I also want to thank my husband, family and friends for helping me brainstorm this idea yesterday and today! You can find a new daily game posted on my Instagram so follow me there @chasinghavers. And check out my friend @liferedefinedwithjudi for more on our #WeWriteTheStory2020. Can’t wait to play together and help our community write our own stories!

February 18, 2020 Happiness, Kids, Parenting Post a Comment

Open or Closed Communication? (A Tool to Help Families Turn Upset to Calm)

I’m sure you’ve been there before. One minute you’re having fun with your family and then before you know it you’ve reached a stalemate… Here is one such tale.

I am sitting at the kitchen island finishing eating dinner with my family. My boys are laughing hysterically. I turn both my hands into the “closed” position (a fist) and knock them into each other. My two fists battle it out until they explode. Bam! More laughter erupts from the kids and this time my husband Matt and I laugh too.

I am acting out being “open” and “closed” with the new hand motions I just made up and for some reason everyone finds it amusing. But if you turned the clock back a few minutes, it was like we were in a different place. Frustration was palpable, no one was having fun. Adam had a pile of vegetables on his plate and was trying to escape the island to go play. Matt was trying to wrangle him into finishing eating and not get up until he was done. The stakes were rising as they both dug deeper into their positions.

Suddenly a thought floated into my mind about a podcast Matt had shared with me recently about being open vs. being closed. And for whatever reason my theater instincts from childhood took over, and before I knew it I was performing an almost puppet show full of hand motion characters to visually represent the different ways of being.

My hand went straight into the air to represent being open. When you’re open, you can turn, you can look around, you can pivot. You are clear.

Then I quickly clench my hand into a tight fist. I am closed. I don’t look around. I am drawn inward and mad. I can’t see the bigger picture and just want to rage, rebel and hide.

The boys are drawn in to my story and I am fueled by my interested audience, so I go on, all off the cuff. I open one hand and then close the other and describe how when one person is open they can surround the closed one in a “hug”. They can be patient, take their time and share their openness or love until they both turn into a heart.

And then I perform the two closed fists battling and exploding over and over as that is clearly their favorite part. Tonight, it was Matt and Adam battling over dinner.

It all sounds totally cheesy, and it is. But I will tell you it has been super useful in our family and we reference it anytime one of us starts to be closed. I think the visual representation of being open or closed really resonates with the kids. It’s nice to be able to show them without having to remind them or feel like nagging them. It is a nice hint.

For example, this past weekend we were getting in the car to go to the gym when Adam decided he did not want to go there and play at the kid’s club. He was mad! So, I turned back from the passenger seat and pulled out my closed fist with a silly look on my face. He got it. And even though he still didn’t really want to go, he got that he was being closed and we were able to have a conversation about it rather than having him stay stuck in his madness. He also coined a new additional hand motion for medium halfway between fist and straight, when you are not quite open but not closed.

Sometimes even just moving from closed to medium is a great place to start a conversation. No one is perfect. As adults we get upset about things. We get defensive or mad, both closed ways of being. If we can even just get to medium we can start assessing the situation from a calmer vantage and see more clearly how best to move forward. Even just admitting or realizing that you are in closed is helpful as it delineates your way of thinking and approaching the situation.

Life isn’t perfect. There will be upsets for kids, for parents, for everyone. The more you resist something the more it persists. Sometimes we need to take a step back, realize what is actually happening and work our way toward being open about it or even just being medium about it.

Anyway, I share these silly stories with you as I know how valuable it has been for our family. I have always been the peacekeeper of our family, but mostly because I try my best to stay open. I also look for where I am responsible in the situation. Like if I keep my kids up late at a fun party, the next day I need to be prepared to be extra patient with my kids if they are overtired and a bit whiney. I want to help my kids and myself be the best versions of ourselves and a lot of that starts with healthy choices which I will talk about in the next post.

In the meantime, let me know if you try out the hand motions with your kids and how it goes!

Xoxo

January 29, 2020 Happiness, Inspiration, Journaling, Kids, Marriage, Parenting, Personal Growth 6 Comments

Happy New Decade!

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Happy New Year! 2020! I was super excited to start a new decade and here we are almost a month into it already. Like the start of a new school year, a new year and especially a brand-new decade feels like such freedom. I feel like I am opening the cover to a new book full of blank pages where I can literally write whatever I want. I can feel the excitement of leaving old ways behind and establishing new habits and patterns in my life. And although my big plans to ring in the new decade in style were crashed by the realities of a sick kid, I worked hard to stay present and enjoyed the options I had. (Aka, I stayed home and watched the Sydney fireworks and had a family dance party.)

More time at home meant more time to be introspective. Scrolling through my limited Instagram (more on that in another post) I was inspired by three posts that I wanted to share since they were very useful for me. One was by one of my favorite authors, Leeanna Tankersley, whom I’ve posted about before. You can see her full post copied below, but basically, she said to take a few minutes to look over your past year. Check your calendar or photos for reminders; but take time to take stock of all that happened for you and your family. Think about the highs and the lows. Celebrate all you have made it through. Write it down and give yourself a pat on the back for doing it and making it through to the other side.

I loved this idea and spent some time on it after I put my kids to bed one night. I hope to continue it as a yearly tradition and keep each write up as a precious memory of everything that was our life in each year. I know that times goes by (quickly) and I believe I’ll remember life the way it is, but I won’t. Even though it feels like this phase will last forever, because sometimes it certainly feels that way in the moment, I know it doesn’t.

My child’s cutest baby cheeks. The way they cuddle into me. Nursing my baby and rocking away in his super still nursery in the middle of the night. How they call for me for one more hug after I put them to bed. How they only want the blue cup when you’ve already poured their juice into the red one and it’s too early to even see a sliver of sunshine. How they are always doing puzzles and leaving their clothes on the floor.

Each magical detail. One moment an irritation, the next moment a fleeting memory laced with warmth and the feeling of tears welling in your eyes. So, I will write it down and save it. I will look at it again in the future. I will remember. I will remember what I learned, what I gave up, what I gained. And it will help me to hold strong and stay present in the current moment. It will help me to embrace the challenges and remember how I will think of these challenging moments in the future with love.

And other memories I might not remember so fondly. Other memories still hold pure sadness in my heart, like the unexpected death of my brother-in-law last year. I certainly miss him and want to hear his laugh and how he’d always say, “I’m going to slide out,” whenever he left. How he’d play with the boys and have fun conversations about science and movies with us. But in this sadness, I remember how our family came together, how we had an amazing time in Michigan honoring his life. We shared hot summer days and nights over the 4th of July telling old stories and laughing together, sending fireworks into the air, spending quiet moments sitting together on the porch watching the storm quietly roll in as lightning bugs blinked silently all around the yard. I know that we made it through hard times by taking it moment by moment and leaning on each other. And in these memories, I’ll know that I can make it through any hard moments that may come again God forbid.

I also reflected on another big milestone in 2019, our 10-year wedding anniversary. I was surprised at how much it meant to me and how proud I was at all that we had accomplished and been through together. I love my husband and it was nice to have an opportunity to stop and think about us, rather than just being us in the swirl of life that surrounds us being mom and dad to our two young kids.

The second and third posts that inspired me were from my friend and health coach Judi from @liferedefinedwithjudi. Her first post that stood out asked these two questions: “What are you going to leave behind? What are you going to take with you?” Again, the idea of leaving things behind seems so eloquent and beautiful.

As parents we’ve seen our kids leave things behind: pacifiers, baby food, diapers, cribs… As adults, what do we leave behind? Or should I say, why don’t we leave things behind? Why do we seem to take everything with us by default? We see the patterns of learning and moving on from our children. We too can choose to leave things behind.

Some things helped us when we needed them to, but now they hold us back, physically, mentally, emotionally.  Taking time to truly see ourselves and our behaviors can help us to choose what we want to leave behind. And like Marie Kondo says about donating our used items, we can thank whatever we leave behind and move on into a new future, free to create and use new or refined skills.

The third post that inspired me (more like made me cry!) asked you to think about the past decade and all your memories and accomplishments. When I thought about mine, I was jarred by the HUGE milestones that had occurred. I got married to my summer fling. I gave birth to my son and became a mom! I had another baby boy and we became a complete family! My husband started his own business and we moved into our home. We celebrated 10 years of marriage. HOLY COW those are some BIG moments!

So much happened in the last decade, and after reflecting on it I realized the possibility of all that we will experience in this next one. Therefore, I am bringing with me my desire to continue to learn about what it takes to lead a happy and fulfilled life. I am bringing with me the dear friends I have made and plan on investing time and love into these relationships. I am taking with me my dedication to health and well-being. I am taking with me resilience, patience, and grace. I am focusing on being present. I can’t wait to write the next chapter.

References & Links

“Take 10 minutes today to go back through your year month by month. You can look at your calendar/planner if you need help remembering, but some of us had the kind of year where you know exactly what happened and when it happened. Write down a few events, milestones, memories from each month. What was significant? Stream of consciousness, bullet point, words/phrases. See, on paper, what you’ve walked through, what you’ve navigated, what you’ve lost, what you’ve celebrated. It might surprise you. Give yourself a big il’ THANK YOU & HELL YA for showing up, for beginning again and again, for making it.” December 31, 2019 @lmtankersley

 

 

“Two more days of 2019!! This being one of them. What are you going to leave behind? What ae you going to take with you?” December 30, 2019 @liferedefinedwithjudi

 

 

 

“It’s the last day of the year. The last day of the decade. Take a moment to reflect on the last 10 years. What were your top 10 moments or memories? What are your top 10 things that made you smile? What are your top 10 accomplishments?

These last 10 years have had their ups and downs. The best things about the downs are that you: 1. You become a stronger version of yourself. 2. Gain new perspective. 3. Its during the “downs” that growth happens. 4. You get to go back up!” December 31, 2019 @liferedefinedwithjudi

 

September 7, 2018 Kids, Parenting, Personal Growth Post a Comment

Back to School Madness!?

I thought that this year’s back to school transition would be easier than last year’s. It seems logical to think that since my son would be starting 1st grade and we had already gotten used going to elementary school the year before, that this year would be pretty straightforward. Wrong!

I guess that is exactly what it is like to be a parent though. You think one thing, and then boom, you are proven wrong yet again. But I guess in this instance I am referring more to myself and my transition from summer to school, than for my son.

Thank God he LOVES school! In fact, even just this morning he was upset with us for telling him we are taking him out of school a little early to go to Legoland and stay overnight in the Legoland Hotel. The kid would rather be in school than hang in a theme park and hotel designed solely for kids’ pleasure and entertainment! After showing him pictures of the Adventure-themed-room we are staying in and explaining how this hotel is different from others and that this is most likely the only time we will be staying there, I was able to win him over. Fingers crossed, he will be happy when we all roll up to his school early this afternoon to whisk him away.

Legoland aside, I suppose it is a new routine this year at our school. They have closed the campus so adults have to check in at the front office (which is located at the other entrance, significantly further from our house) and we have a new system for drop offs and pick ups.

But that isn’t the point, the point is with this back to school season I have felt overwhelmed and a bit bummed- and I consider myself an organized and happy person. I didn’t turn in all the papers to the teacher, I couldn’t figure out how to login to the online system for a couple days, I feel behind and wonder how other moms out there are feeling? What do you do to stay on top of back to school?

The night before school started I secretly cried before going to sleep. I didn’t want my oldest to start back in school full days. I wished he could still be on a half day preschool schedule like my younger son. I wanted to keep our beach adventure days, lazy mornings and utter flexibility going strong! Now that they are back in school it feels like I am just doing, doing, doing and I guess I miss the playing…

Two days ago, my son came home from school and said he doesn’t have enough time for playing anymore now that he’s in first grade. Hmm, guess we are having the same experience! Sometimes it’s easy to forget that our kids are going through big transitions, especially when they are good kids who seem to be able to easily adapt. (And I guess it’s good timing to be heading to Legoland- lots of time to play.)

What is it about being human and having routine?

So we will push on and get used to this new routine. Now that my youngest has finally started preschool (a few weeks after my oldest), I will have some time in the mornings to get sorted and stay on top of things. In the mean time I have to offer myself GRACE just like I would to my children. We can only do the best we can do and it’s ok to make mistakes and forget things once in awhile.

In a few months we will be a well-oiled school routine machine and fingers crossed I can actually get some projects done that I have been putting off for ages (like baby books, toy sorting, closet cleaning, photo organizing, etc.)

As a mom the list of things we are responsible for is endless, but we have to make time for our own joy, fun and relaxation- easier said than done. So if you have a funny back to school story or a helpful strategy you’ve learned about making the back to school transition go smoothly, I’d love to hear it!

PS- I hope you like my silly 1st day of school pic! LOL

May 18, 2018 Inspiration, Kids, Personal Growth Post a Comment

The Whole World is a Playground

While I was dropping my son off at school this morning, I snapped this pic of the playground. I was struck by the energy and exuberance all around me and how all the kids turned the playground into whatever they wanted it to be. Enthralled in the moment, they run, they sing, they dance, they play, they draw, they chase. They are free.

The playground isn’t just a playground. It is a basketball arena, a stage, a canvas. They are joyful and jubilant.

As we go into the weekend, I want to take this attitude with me. I want to create moments of bliss with my family and turn wherever I am into something inspiring. I want to play and experience freedom and flow, if even just for a little.

What will you do this weekend to find even just one of these moments?

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