Tag: Be Present

May 29, 2020 Happiness, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Growth, Play, Sanity Hacks Post a Comment

What Will You Create? How to Use Self-Care & Creativity to Survive

I don’t know what the last few months have been like for you, but if you’re like me, I’m guessing that it has been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings! One minute I feel one way and moments later it’s like I feel the exact opposite. I’m feeling good, I’m feeling bad. I’m energized, I’m tired. I’m brave, I’m fearful.

Taking on new challenges comes with a new set of circumstances. So much has changed and there is so much newness to deal with and navigate.

Through the ups and the downs, I have felt an innate desire to serve people and help myself and others rise to get through this crazy time. Sometimes it has been easier and other times it has been harder.

But tonight, on a walk I took by myself, I was able to let my mind wander… I think I found an answer for me, and I wanted to share it with you (as I imagine we all may be facing some of the same roadblocks even though our particular circumstances may be totally different.)

The answer that came to me was being CREATIVE.  To CREATE a new way.

According to Merriam-Webster here is the definition of creative & create:

 

Definition of creative

1: marked by the ability or power to create : given to creating

2: having the quality of something created rather than imitated

3: managed so as to get around legal or conventional limits

 

Definition of create

1: to bring into existence

2a: to invest with a new form, office, or rank

b: to produce or bring about by a course of action or behavior

3: CAUSE, OCCASION

4a: to produce through imaginative skill

b: DESIGN

1: to make or bring into existence something new

 

Yes, my responsibilities and roles have been altered. Yes, I am now a TK & 2nd Grade Teacher. I am a housecleaner. A chef. Yes, I am home ALL THE TIME. Yes, I did most of this stuff before, but no I did not do it alone and I did not do it ALL THE TIME!

I’m sure you can relate. Maybe you are trying to balance having two parents working from home trying to homeschool at the same time. Maybe you are trying to balance the different school workloads of your three kids, all different ages and levels. Maybe you are trying to balance caring for your elderly family members who you may or may not even be able to see right now.

Life is complicated. And it is complicated beyond complicated now as we face unprecedented times.

But let’s get back to being CREATIVE.

YES, things are hard, and things look different. But what the heck can we actually DO about it?!?!?!?! How can we make the best of it?

We can CREATE.

The idea just popped in my head and even though it didn’t make my headache go away, it did seem to offer me some much-needed SPACE and possibly a taste of potential freedom.

Then when I was listening to a podcast interview and it brought the idea home even further. They were talking about the importance of self-care right now, how the people doing well right now are the ones who are making their own self-care a priority; vs. the people who are barely holding on, they are getting swamped in the gravity of it all, neglecting their needs, and struggling.

But what really got me was when he said the people in prison war camps who survived were the ones who thought that this was going to last awhile. Those who thought it would be temporary didn’t survive.

So clearly this isn’t war camp. We are not POWs, but if we act in ways that say this is how it’s going to be for a while, then we can adapt our lives to our current situation. We can be CREATIVE and find ways to make at least some of the things we need and want to work!

Let’s create from scratch. Let’s be creative and find ways to make space for some PLAY in our day-to-day lives.

PLAY is essential and now more than ever we need to create moments of joy, love and flow in our lives. We need to show our kids that we can do that. We need to play with our partners. We need to leave the heaviness behind from time to time so we can hang out in the world of LOVE AND POSSIBILITY, even if just for a few moments.

So, I can’t wait to see what you are going to CREATE for yourself and your family! Let’s take on our self-care and sneak in some PLAY! Game On!

 

PS- I also want to take a minute to thank amazing my boys and all the wonderful people who partnered with us in our #WeWriteTheStory2020 challenge so far! They inspired me to find creativity and blew me away with all the fresh and fun ideas they came up with. Playing and sending out over 50 games so far has shown me how we all have the innate ability to be creative, we just need to allow the time and space for it. You can learn more about our challenge here and you can stay up to date on my daily posts including games, sanity hacks and more on my instagram. Thanks all!

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/creative

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/creating

January 21, 2019 Health & Fitness, Inspiration, Personal Growth Post a Comment

New Beginnings

A few months ago I read a book by one of my favorite authors, Leeanna Tankersley. I saw her speak many years ago at a Writer’s Conference I attended and when she appeared again years later at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschool Children) group, I truly enjoyed listening to her stories and soaking in any advice that spoke to me. So, when she was about to release her newest book, Begin Again, I convinced my bible study group that we had to choose her book.

New Beginnings. Even just saying that conjures up a lot of imagery and emotion. Sometimes new beginnings are exciting and energizing. Other times they are scary and stressful- and everything in between.

I am in the midst of a new beginning in my life right now that is extremely exciting and totally unexpected. Imagine if college or high school was one of the best times in your life, and now you somehow had the opportunity to do it again, but in this stage of your life. Ok, maybe that sounds confusing, but that’s exactly what it felt like for me.

In the mid 2000’s, my sister and I discovered a new sport called Beach Tennis and we began to compete on the pro tour. It was amazing how it all happened. It was a whirlwind few years as we traveled around the best beaches in the US, made an appearance on the Today Show, and even competed as the first American team at the World Championships in Italy.

We had a ball, but it seemed like that era was over. The organization that was putting it on in the US stopped holding tournaments, so we just counted our blessings for the time we had and moved on to other adventures, like getting married and having kids.

Then in October 2018 my husband and I went to Pacific Beach to celebrate our 9-year anniversary and we stumbled across the PB Beach Fest (which is funny because we often go to a neighborhood and end up there on their festival day even though we’d often prefer to be there with less crowds!) But in this case, it was a serendipitous occurrence, because as we strolled down the boardwalk, I peered down at the sand and saw it! A beach tennis tournament was going on, just like the ones we had played in so many years ago!

My heart started racing and we went down to check it out. Not only was the tournament going on, but a lot of old faces of people I knew from LA where there. An old friend was MC’ing the event, just like old times! My former mixed doubles partner was playing a match and another old friend was there to greet me! I took in the scene with such déjà vu and raw excitement. I was introduced to the two ladies who are running the effort to grow Beach Tennis in San Diego. I learned that in October 2019 San Diego will be hosting the ANOC World Beach Games and Beach Tennis will be a featured event. I was stunned!

Now I have the opportunity to help grow Beach Tennis in San Diego and bring the fun and excitement of this worldwide sport to my community. I also have people to play with and I am planning on competing again!

This new beginning is very exciting and also a little bit scary. I am in a totally different phase of my life than I was last time I was in this world. I have two little children, a husband, and lots of responsibilities and considerably less free time. I want to help bring this game to San Diego and more of the US, but I am pretty full already!

But that is how it is with new beginnings. There is an unknown that sometimes is hard to sit with. It is especially hard for me because I consider myself a planner. I want to know how it will go. I want to be able to accomplish all of my dreams. But what if I have too many dreams? Then what?

Maybe I am just a perfectionist and I have to relax and release what I think it should all look like. Wouldn’t that be great to just let it all go and take life as it comes, one day at a time, one moment at a time, totally present? I want to recapture the freedom I felt in my younger days when there was so much possibility in my future. Just because I am married and a mom, that doesn’t mean my adventure is over, right? Of course, it’s not. My adventure is even bigger now because it includes my whole family too. But I need to stay on track and be present and stop worrying about the future or living in the past.

I need to listen to Tankersley when she writes, “Every day, we begin again.” She shares such inspiring and entertaining stories in all of her books. In Begin Again, she says years ago the words of a Benedictine monk stuck with her, “always we begin again.” She was living in the Middle East on base with her husband when they had their first children, boy girl twins. I can only imagine what that must’ve felt like. I remember feeling confused and undone after the emergency C-section birth of my firstborn, but I was living in the US and only had one baby to tend to! None-the-less, those words stuck with her and she was drawn to them years later as she wrote this book.

You have to read it for yourself, but a few things stood out to me. The first is that every new beginning happens after an ending. And endings can hurt. I’ve been a mom for 6 years now, but sometimes I still miss all the free time I had before having kids. I always wanted kids and adore having them as they bring a whole new level of love and joy to my life. But it still marks the end of an era (and so far, sleeping through the night consistently too!) So, if a new beginning comes after an end, it is important to grieve the end. You can appreciate it for what it provided you and then embrace the new gifts your present offers.

Another thing that stood out was when Tankersley said that walls are doors. How awesome a context is that? You come to something that feels like a wall… You butt up right against it and feel stuck, trapped even. But you can transform that wall into a door. You can open it up and begin again. You can create something new. To me that sounds like a freedom and a treasure, to be able to get beyond whatever troubles are trapping you. Sure, there will be grief over the ending and perhaps trepidation about the new beginning, but there will also be a new found ability to create and start fresh.

Taking on new beginnings can be scary and sometimes we cling to what we have even though we know it’s not right. She tells the best story of how her landscaper wanted to remove one tree from the entrance to her house. Originally she had two trees flanking the sides of the entrance to her home, a pair. But this one is dead, he told her. Yet she still wanted to hold onto it. She says often we’d rather hold on to the known than step into the unknown. But in doing so we can miss out on the beauty. In her case with the dead tree, once it was removed, it highlighted the beautiful gazebo in the background. What beauty is awaiting us when we have the courage to take the next step?

A couple weekends ago I was lucky enough to attend an event that was all about new beginnings and it featured Leeanna Tankersely live on video chat. She was awesome as usual. She said she had recently discovered that scared easily changes to sacred and in doing so it invites God into her life. She also said that you’ll know when you need to know. I really like that as an opportunity to slow down and have faith in the process. New beginnings are just that, new. Taking moment by moment and enjoying the journey is the best way to do life. Sure, you can plan and work hard, but to experience the current moment in all its glory or pain is to be alive.

This week I will be off to my first beach tennis tournament in 10 years. I cannot wait to officially begin this next chapter. What new beginning are you creating in your life?

For more info on Beach Tennis:

Like Us on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/themaloneysisters/

Beach Tennis San Diego: https://www.facebook.com/beachtennis.sandiego.3

International Beach Tennis (ITF): https://www.itftennis.com/beachtennis/home.aspx

For more info on Leeana Tankersley:

http:www.leeanatankersley.com

Tankersely, Leeanna. Begin Again. Revell, 2018.